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The Onion is an American digital media & news satire organization that publishes articles on international, national, and local news.
Authors from The Onion
 
Ryan Shattuck

64 articles


 
 
Recent Articles from The Onion

Advisors Instruct William Barr To Avoid Referring To Trump As My Liege During Confirmation Hearing

THEONION.COM – WASHINGTONIn an effort to prepare the nominee to speak in front of the Senate, advisors to Donald Trumps attorney general pick William Barr...

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GOP Strips Steve King Of Post On Powerful House Segregation Committee

THEONION.COM – WASHINGTONResponding to backlash over controversial remarks in which the congressman lamented that white nationalist had become an offensive term, the GOP stripped Steve...

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Hand Of George H.W. Bush Bursts Out Of Ground To Grope One Last Woman

THEONION.COM – The Onion Americas Finest News Source Hand Of George H.W. Bush Bursts Out Of Ground To Grope One Last Woman

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Michael Cohen Granted Prison Work Release For New Job With Trump 2020 Campaign

THEONION.COM – NEW YORKFollowing sentencing for his role in a hush-money scandal, Michael Cohen was granted a prison work release for a new job with...

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Joe Buck Tears Rotator Cuff After Awkward Throw Down To Sideline

THEONION.COM – DALLASGrimacing and clutching at his shoulder, Fox NFL announcer Joe Buck tore his rotator cuff after an awkward throw down to the sideline...

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No, Take Jeb Instead, Screams George W. Bush While Shoving Brother Into Fathers Grave

THEONION.COM – COLLEGE STATION, TXHaving evidently entered the bargaining phase of grief in the wake of George H.W. Bushs death, witnesses confirmed Thursday that George...

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NFL Defends Right To Subject Eric Reid To Random Stop-And-Frisks

THEONION.COM – CHARLOTTE, NCCategorically denying allegations that the tactic was unconstitutional and unfairly targeted players who protested the national anthem, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell released...

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Orrin Hatch Delivers Farewell Address From Coffin Descending Into Plot Dug In Middle Of Senate Floor

THEONION.COM – WASHINGTONMarking the end of the longest tenure of any Republican senator in U.S. history, Orrin Hatch (R-UT) delivered his farewell address to colleagues...

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Nation Not Sure How Many Ex-Trump Staffers It Can Safely Reabsorb

THEONION.COM – WASHINGTONNoting that the resignation of James Mattis as Secretary of Defense marked the ouster of the third top administration official in less than...

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UCF Deserves A Shot To Be Utterly Destroyed In The College Football Playoff

THEONION.COM – The Onion Americas Finest News Source UCF Deserves A Shot To Be Utterly Destroyed In The College Football Playoff

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Kirstjen Nielsen Urges Migrant Parents Leave The Weak Ones Behind

THEONION.COM – The Onion Americas Finest News Source Kirstjen Nielsen Urges Migrant Parents Leave The Weak Ones Behind

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