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Recent Articles from Ryan Shattuck

Veteran Congressman Can Still Remember When Inaction On Gun Violence Actually Presented A Moral Dile

THEONION.COM – WASHINGTONThinking back to a far simpler time, veteran congressman Chuck Grassley (R-IA) told reporters Thursday that he could still remember when his inaction…

No Spin
7% Trust
98% False
64% Real
6 Ratings

Donald Trump Spends Another Valentine’s Day Completely Alone

THEONION.COM – The Onion Americas Finest News Source Donald Trump Spends Another Valentine’s Day Completely Alone

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Snowy Mountain In Pyeongchang Figures It Can Withstand 1 Or 2 More Big Cheers Before Triggering Aval

THEONION.COM – Americas Finest News Source Snowy Mountain In Pyeongchang Figures It Can Withstand 1 Or 2 More Big Cheers Before Triggering Avalanche

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Trump Announces Plan To Replace Food Stamps With New Low-Income Foraging Program

THEONION.COM – WASHINGTONChampioning the decision as a way to cut costs and still meet federally mandated nutrition requirements, President Trump announced a plan Tuesday to…

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John Kelly Takes Responsibility For Failing To Properly Silence Victims

THEONION.COM – The Onion Americas Finest News Source John Kelly Takes Responsibility For Failing To Properly Silence Victims

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John Kelly Denies Any Knowledge Of Staffer’s Misconduct That Will Break In Few Months Time

THEONION.COM – The Onion Americas Finest News Source John Kelly Denies Any Knowledge Of Staffer’s Misconduct That Will Break In Few Months Time

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Its Step, Twist, Step, Dammit! Yells Leotard-Wearing, Cigarette-Smoking John Kelly While Choreograph

THEONION.COM – WASHINGTONWearing a leotard and chain-smoking as he pounded out the measures with his cane, White House Chief of Staff John Kelly screamed, Its…

57% Left
3% Trust
94% False
76% Satire
10 Ratings

Doug Pederson Informs Nick Foles He’s Been Traded To Browns While Handing Him Lombardi Trophy

THEONION.COM – The Onion Americas Finest News Source Doug Pederson Informs Nick Foles He’s Been Traded To Browns While Handing Him Lombardi Trophy

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96% Trust
98% False
100% Satire
7 Ratings